


"Do you remember..."

by xiewoo (xiearf)



Series: Angsty November [3]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8592556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiearf/pseuds/xiewoo
Summary: where woohyun pretends he does not remember, because the memories are beautiful yet painful. inspired by this beautiful song.





	

 

 

#  -1-

“Do you remember this day, sixteen years ago? Mom and dad brought you home. We met for the first time, on this date, sixteen years ago. I was such an ass that time, as you always say… but hey, this year I remember the date and you do not, and last year too! That makes you an ass now: Ass Woohyun.” Sunggyu repeated the name, his head hanging low as he bit his lips, his hand squeezed Woohyun’s with a little more force. “You don’t remember anything now. Nothing…”

A moment passed before Sunggyu finally let go and stood up. He gave the figure laying on the bed another look and took off.

 

When the door was close again, only then Woohyun willed his eyes to open. Sunggyu thought he was deep in slumber and could not hear him but what he did not know, the doctor ended up not giving Woohyun sedative. True, he went wild earlier where the doctor and nurses rushed to check on him, but that was also another act. He assured them that he just wanted to get rid of Sunggyu, his parents and the other person. The doctor believed in him and carried out a routine check instead. After that, he pretended to be sleeping.

Another thing Sunggyu did not know, he remembered everything, even the tiniest detail. It was just another act and it was for Sunggyu’s sake.

“Almost two years, huh…” Woohyun brought his hand up, the one that Sunggyu held. He still could feel the other’s warmth on his skin and he still could hear the soft sob from the man. Woohyun closed his eyes, inhaled the remaining scent and hoped he never have to open them again.

 

#  -2-

Woohyun was playing outdoor on a slide with his friends when one of the caretakers came to call him, said that the Headmistress requires his presence in her office. The boys changed look, knew that could mean two completely different things: one can be wonderful while the other can be terrible. They tried to excerpt some information from her face but she was as expressionless as she always was. It was impossible to decipher anything from her facial expression so they gave up. Woohyun bid them goodbye and promised to meet them in the dining area for dinner later before he slowly followed the caretaker into the building.

It was common to have an empty corridor in the evening as all the kids went out to play. No one in his age would want to stay inside and do nothing at that time of the day, not when the building itself was surrounded with an open space complete with a playground area. Their official playtime hours were from four until six but for those who did not go to school like Woohyun (or yet to attend school), they can play to their heart content… but everyone must present in the dining area after sunsets.

Walking down the corridor alone with the caretaker, Mrs Yong was really nerve wrecking. Woohyun found it was hard to walk properly. Every kid knew that she was the strictest caretaker out of all that worked in the building. She barely smiled to anyone, even lesser talked. During indoor activities, while the other caretakers would usually join the kids playing silly games, she would rather sit on a chair at the corner and stared at everyone as if she was waiting for any of the kids to make a mistake so that she can punish them later.

After what it seemed to be forever going through the endless course, Woohyun heaved a relieved sigh when they finally arrived in front of the Headmistress’s office. Even though it was Saturday, it was not a rare occasion to find the Headmistress in her office, working. She literally worked seven days a week, which would not be much of a problem since she lived with them in the same building. Some of the caretakers lived with them too since it was easier to monitor them twenty four hours a day and also to make sure that each and every one of them were doing fine.

Mrs Yong opened the huge door for him and ushered him to go ahead first. He tilted his up to thank her but could not help noticing the change of expression on her face. It was just slightly different from what she usually had; he probably would have missed it if he did not turn for a second look.  Still, it was enough for Woohyun to take the change in. She looked somewhat sad, or was it dejected. It was either Woohyun really spoiled big time and an awful punishment was waiting for him or… what would the second possibility be?

He did not have the time to think about it as the Headmistress’s voice rang from inside of the room, calling him to come in. For the first time of his five years living in the orphanage, Mrs Yong ruffled his hair and curled a weak smile for him before she gently pushed him inside the room and shut the door slowly from the outside. He remained unmoved for the next minute, still staring at the closed door. It was not until the faint footsteps belonged to Mrs Yong disappeared into distance that he finally turned around and was surprised to find that the Headmistress was not alone in her office.

“You called, Madam Yoon?” Carefully, Woohyun made his way further into the room and stopped in front of the Headmistress’s work desk. He dared to steal a glance from the couple of strangers who never lifted an eye from him. He tried to recall any mischiefs that he had done during his last outings to the town. Maybe he accidentally stumbled onto this couple and somehow did bad things to them. His last outing went just fine. He was with Mrs Yong anyway. No way would he be able to create any trouble, even if he wanted to. If so then why these two were staring at him like predators?

“Yes, I did, Woohyun-goon. Dinner time is approaching so I am going to just frankly proceed with this matter.” Madam Yoon directed the last part to the couple instead of Woohyun, which they quickly nodded in agreement. “Okay, Woohyun-goon. I would like to introduce you to this sweet couple, Mr Kim Jongpil and his wife, Mrs Kim Sooyun. They are here because they want to find their son a new friend… and better, a brother and they came to have their interest on you. Woohyun-good, sweetheart, they would love to adopt you.”

Woohyun stayed silent, actually trying to digest what he just heard. These couple was interested in him and wanted to take him home? Why did they even get interested in him? His profile was plainly dull and the other kids had more achievements compared to him. Why did they choose him instead of the other boys?

“You don’t have to give you answer now though. There are some procedures to follow including letting you to know them better first.” She turned to face the couple and her face was serious, hinting that they should take it very seriously. “I understand that you two already have a son of your own and I am sure you two are good parents but I still need to make sure that you can get along with Woohyun well and that you are not making him uncomfortable. There are minimum hours that you need fill by spending time with Woohyun. One of our caretakers will supervise and evaluate the two of you. If you pass, only then I can hand you the paper works. Is that okay with you?”

The couple nodded, humming as to express that they understood. On the other hand, Woohyun barely could catch up with Madam Yoon. The older used hard word and talked quiet fast where his nine years-old self found it hard to decipher everything. However, he managed to grasp the main point: that this couple would spend some time with him and if Woohyun came out to like them too, they can take him home. He eyed the two. Mr Kim looked like a kind man and his wife has the image of a loving mother. He did not think it would be hard to like them but he was not sure whether he wanted to leave the orphanage yet.

“Hello there, Woohyunnie.” Woohyun shut all his busy thoughts away and smiled faintly at Mrs Kim. The way she addressed him had he cringed a little because that was just their first meeting. In spite of that, he did not want to be rude to them so he let it be. “My husband and I really had taken liking on you and we are sure you are perfect to fill in our small family. You see, we have a son around your age too… um, older than you by one year. He used to be cheerful as any kid could be but recently, he changed.”

Woohyun batted his eyelashes, curious with what the older just said. “What happened to him?”

“The doctor said he has anxiety disorder. Our son gets afraid in meeting new people, gets afraid to talk with others. He sometimes gets scared of us too.” Mrs Kim paused, averted her gaze and brought it to stick onto the floor. She bit her lips and Woohyun noticed her eyes were slowly turning into red. Her husband soon held her shoulders, gently caressing up and down her arms until she could speak again. “Madam Yoon told us that you are great in making friends, and the most cheerful boy in here. We would like to ask you to h-help our son… please.”

Woohyun ran his eyes to Madam Yoon who smiled lovingly at her. True, he had heard from some of the caretakers too that he was very friendly and jolly out of the boys in the orphanage. One of them even labelled him as the mood maker where he was in charge of lifting the mood and making everyone laugh. Guess they put it into his profile file and that was the reason why this couple chose him out of the others from the first place. He was flattered but still, he could not decide yet.

Being quiet for too long, Madam Yoon might able to wedge out what was running inside of his head at that time. She coughed lightly as to break the tension and to get the attention on her again. “Like I said earlier, Woohyun-goon, you don’t need to decide today.” Woohyun curled a weak smile for her and nodded. Then, she once again turned to look at the spouse. “I take adoption matter very seriously. I certainly do not want any of our children fall into wrong, irresponsible hands. I will inform my assistant to issue your schedule as soon as possible and have it sent to your house. I am cheering up for you two. Good luck for the test.”

 

#  -3-

“Ah, you’re home.” Woohyun looked up from his shoes and onto the loving face of his adopted mother. A small smile was on her lips, too small that it did not even reach her cheeks. He knew why that was but he refused to say anything. He was supposed to forget everything, anyway. “How was college?”

Five weeks ago, Woohyun discharged from the hospital. He had another week of rest, for healing purpose and after that, he signed up to continue where he left on in college before he ran into the accident two years ago. He got just a few classes but he left his master project for too long that he needed to read all references and his writing again. Some things changed, new findings popped up and there were a lot of thing that he had to revise. That had him completely exhausted for the past weeks.

“Fine, I guess… just work, nothing much.” Woohyun was cold, his words were cold, he knew. He also knew that he made the small smile disappear completely from her aging face. A pang of guilt tugged his heart. “Where are you going though, Mom? You look, beautiful.” Woohyun was not sure whether she noticed the trembling at the edge of his lips, but she curled another smile for him anyway.

“We are picking tuxedos for Sunggyu today, remember? I told you during dinner last night. I thought you come back early because of it.”

Oh, right. That reminded him why he brought a pile of books and headed to the library right after he done with his lunch instead of coming straight home. He decided to spend the whole day out, to avoid both Mrs Kim and Sunggyu too, in that case. If only there were no stupid rude kids causing chaos in the library, he would still be outside and away from this question.

 “I-I do remember… I just thought um, I thought I told you that I am not going and that you already go. Were you um, were you waiting for me?”

“Of course I am waiting for you. I did not recall you telling me that you are not joining me.” Mrs Kim tilted her head, perhaps trying to remember when exactly she had that conversation with him… which actually never happened, but that was not something for her to figure out. “Anyway, since you are home and you look totally done with study, why don’t you join me? Sunggyu is going to be busy later. He would leave me very bored. You can keep me some company.”

Woohyun could not find it in him to say no to her. He ended up nodding, though asked for a few minute to keep his things away first.

 

#  -4-

“Leave your luggage there and come in, son. I will call someone to pick your stuffs up for you.” Mr Kim said and made his way to the door after he ruffled the young boy’s hair. Woohyun exchanged an excited look with Mrs Kim and rushed inside following the older male.

If he was gaping at the outside view, now that he was inside, Woohyun felt like he almost lost his jaw. There were two sets of staircases leading to the second floor, a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the hallway. The floor probably made from marble, very shiny that Woohyun could see his reflection on it. He thought he was in some kind of old English movie… or he was visiting an expensive five stars hotel.

He could not believe he was going to live in this house!

“I hope you are going to love it here.” Mrs Kim said. ‘You are kidding me’, Woohyun thought. He totally was going to love it here, without a doubt. Boy, anyone would love to live in such place. “I asked some people to prepare your room. It is on the second floor. Shall we?” The boy nodded eagerly and trailed Mrs Kim climbing up the stairs while Mr Kim excused himself from the tour, as he needed to return his office.

The staircase ended at what it seemed to be in the middle of a long corridor. Along both the left and right side, there were several doors lined up, connecting the hallway to rooms. As Mrs Kim guided him toward the right, he made sure to count the number of doors they walked pass by carefully because everything looked identical and he definitely did not want to end up getting lost on his way back to his bedroom after this. Lucky for him, his room was at the end of the lane. There will be no way he could not find his room this way.

“Here is your room. I am not really sure what you like and what you do not so I decorated it based on your side in your room back in the orphanage.” Woohyun watched the older unlocking the door and slowly pushed it open, then took a step back to give him a smile. “Go ahead inside… and if you have anything that you don’t like, furniture or the theme colour, just tell me. We can get anything changed for you.”

It was light red: the wallpaper, curtains and the bed sheets. He loved it. Red was his favourite and Mrs Kim’s chose light red instead was amazing since all red would make the room looks rather unappealing. The wall behind the bed was in shaded with evening shadow paint that went well with the cherry wooden furniture placed inside the room. He had his own flat screen television that faced the bed, which meant he could roll around the bed while watching movies. There were two additional doors on each side of the bed; he guessed they probably lead to walk in closet (since he did not see any wardrobe around) and bathroom.

One word: perfect!

“So… how is it? Do you like your room or you want to change anything?”

Woohyun grinned excitedly and ran to hug the older who just as happily caught him in her arms. “No, it is perfect. I love it. Thank you so much, Mrs Kim.”

Mrs Kim suddenly pulled away and kneeled down, wriggling her index finger in front of his nose. “Ah-ah, I thought we agreed that you are going to call me ‘Mom’.” She chuckled when Woohyun brought his head down in embarrassment and muttered a soft sorry to her. Ruffling his hair, she said that it was okay since he needed some time to get use of the new title.

They walked around the room as Mrs Kim showed the bathroom and walk in closer (which was already filled with new clothes). Soon later, a woman dressed in black buttoned up shirt and white long skirt came to the door and informed that the Young Master already returned from school. Woohyun frowned. ‘Who is Young Master?’ Then it clicked. ‘Ah, right. I am supposed to have a brother now, the one who never bothered to come see me even once.’ He did not realize he was pouting until Mrs Kim pointed it out. He ran his eyes shyly and shook his head where she laughed in return.

“Let’s go down and meet your brother.” His heart skipped a beat in anticipation. He quickly followed the older woman who went down the stairs, headed straight to the entrance. He was still on the last step when he caught the sight of a boy who seemed to be around his age, stepping into the house timidly as if it was a completely new world for him. If Mrs Kim did not rush to hug him, Woohyun would doubt whether the boy really was the house’s Young Master. He looked somewhat unfamiliar to the house. “Welcome back, sweetie, look who we have here. Woohyunnie, come down and meet Sunggyu.”

Seeing the older gestured him to come down fast, he rushed his steps and dipped his head slightly once he was standing in front of the two. However, he did not get to start introducing himself as he noticed the boy shivered and quickly took cover behind his mother, not even sneaking an eye out. He frowned; mind running back to figure out what weird gesture he had done that had scared this boy. What he did was completely normal… okay; maybe he was a little in hurry and ran like a delusional squirrel.

Then it clicked: Mrs Kim’s son diagnosed to have anxiety disorder. It was a normal reaction for someone like him, according to what Madam Yoon told him a few days ago. That was bad for him. He ruined the first impression and that was the most important part.

Mumbling a soft apology, Woohyun took a step back to create a comfortable distance between them. The boy was still hiding though and Mrs Kim was doing all her might to coax him, saying that it was completely fine. Nothing seemed to work even after a couple of minutes passed so he decided to go on with the introduction, even if the boy perhaps was not paying any attention to him at all.

“My name is Nam Woohyun and I am now your little brother. Oh, I am one year younger than you are. I hope we can get along really well.” He put on his brightest smile and with deliver the lines with his most cheerful tone, hoping that he would sound friendly enough so that the boy would finally come out. It did not work though as he could see from the distance that the boy’s grip on his mother’s shirt just got tighter. He sighed, wondering what else he could do.

Mrs Kim took the initiative for the next step. Slowly, she turned around and got on her knees until her face was nearly on the same level of Sunggyu’s own. Smiling lovingly at her son, she caressed his cheeks and gently guided the boy so that he lifted his head and looked at Woohyun. “It is fine, don’t be afraid. Woohyun is here to be your friend and furthermore, he is part of our family now.”

Even so, the Young Master only fervently shook his head. The boy covered his face with his palms, hiding what he could from the other’s sight even though it was not much. Woohyun felt sorry when he noticed how dejected Mrs Kim looked because of her son’s respond. The older was very hurt. There, Woohyun promised himself that he was going to make this boy befriend him, no matter what it was going to cost him… for Mrs Kim’s sake.

 

#  -5-

It was the third try-out and Sunggyu still looked as breath taking as the first one – when did he never.

Woohyun found it hard to stop staring, because he should not. No one would look at their own older brother the same way Woohyun did to Sunggyu… and then again, no one love their older brother the same way Woohyun loves Sunggyu. More importantly, no one should know about it and Sunggyu, he should never notice it or else he would know, that Woohyun actually remembers. It was better off as a secret.

“No, I don’t like this one. Go try another one. Give him another one, hurry!” It was Doojon, Sunggyu’s fiancé, or that was what Mrs Kim told him. He knew that man even before the accident. He stayed around Sunggyu more than Woohyun favoured, and he hated Woohyun, for some reason (which he aware of by the way, but he remained silent about it). Doojon was being obvious about it though and even now, he was behaving like a kid, showing his annoyance toward Woohyun’s presence there in the boutique. He had been heaving his anger onto the staffs for an hour already.

Well, Woohyun did not in fact like him too, in any way.

When Woohyun woke up from his two years long of comatose, the first person he saw was Mrs Kim. The elder had a wide smile on her face, eyes teary and hands gripping hard on the sheet. The second person was Sunggyu, also the sight of him holding hands with Doojon. The said male did not look as happy as the other two though. Woohyun did not understand it at first, especially when Doojon obviously refused to let Sunggyu go when the brunet wanted to rush to the bed. ‘ _Why would he hold him back?_ ’ he though. It was not until Doojon addressed Sunggyu with an affectionate nickname that Woohyun managed to figure out.

He bit his lips hard to contain himself from crying, because that was just impossible. Sunggyu could not be with someone else, not when he was yet to confess the feeling he had been hiding for more than a decade.

Then Woohyun decided to pretend that he remembered nothing, because doctor said his head was badly injured and it would be a miracle if he could remember (or even if he managed to wake up). It was a miracle indeed, but Woohyun wished he truly remembered nothing. Pretending did not help patching his broken heart. It hurt him more, but he did not want to torn Sunggyu apart as well. If Sunggyu were going to find his happiness with this man, then Woohyun would let him go.

“I think this suit is already fine.” Mrs Kim pulled him out of trance with a nudge on his side. The elder gestured him to check on Sunggyu’s appearance again, wanting him to agree with her. “Don’t you think so, Woohyunnie?” Woohyun followed her sight and had his eyes fall on Sunggyu, who was staring at him too. He knew that look, the same one reflected in his own.

The longing, it was just the same.

Without thinking twice, Woohyun stood up from his seat and made way to where Sunggyu was. He took in his entire appearance, loving the way he perfectly fit the expensive suit. It was white and it made Sunggyu looked like an angel. Woohyun would never comprehend the reason Doojon wanted Sunggyu to change into something else because Sunggyu came out perfect, even with the first suit he tried on. ‘ _Stupid, Doojon._ ’

It was as if his hand had a brain of its own. It moved on urge. Woohyun then found he was swiping Sunggyu’s brunet bang to the side, he himself was standing just one foot away from the older. “He looks perfect.” The words came out as a breath, a low whisper but he knew Sunggyu could hear him just fine (he was not sure about Doojon and Mrs Kim though). They matched their eyes, exchanging that one conversation none of them dared to bring up.

Woohyun broke the contact before he gave everything out. It was enough for Sunggyu to know that he still adore him, that even though he ‘forgot’, he still loves him the same and even if Sunggyu marries someone else, he will still love him the same.

 

#  -6-

“Leave him alone!” Woohyun yelled at the boys who were cornering Sunggyu against the wall, away from other students. He heard it from his new friend in the new school, Lee Howon, that Sunggyu was a bully target by a group of snobbish kids. Since Sunggyu did not talk to anyone and avoid contact with other kids at any cost, they took him as an arrogant prick and picked on him whenever they could. These kids were making his trauma worse without them knowing.

Woohyun was on his way back to class when he stumbled upon a small crowd. There were some yelling came from the end of the corridor. Thinking it might be Sunggyu; Woohyun rushed and broke through the crowd. He was not wrong. It was definitely Sunggyu circled by the bullies. The poor boy was crying, though no sound came out, his shoulders were trembling badly. Woohyun felt a rush of anger through his veins and at that time, he did not care how many people he was going against, he just wanted to protect this boy.

Of course, Woohyun could not make it alone. He was not a good fighter. He never fought before, in fact. Howon popped up magically and helped him, bringing along a teacher with him.

‘ _T-thank you_ ’ was the first thing Sunggyu said to him. Woohyun could not help the stupid grin that was making its way to his lips. He did it. He finally made Sunggyu talk to him, despite just meeting him a few days ago. The next step was to get closer though he was completely aware that he should not rush it and needed to keep it slow.

He could take it slow.

 

Just like he expected, getting closer to Sunggyu was definitely not an easy task. It took all his patience and he almost exploded one day because Sunggyu just would not stop running away. Thankfully, he was quick in reminding himself about his stance; about the real reason why Mrs Kim brought him home at the first place. He perfectly understood that the elders would never throw him out if he failed but he wanted to do his best. He did not want to disappoint them and more importantly, he wanted to see Mrs Kim smiling again, a genuine smile of hers.

It was not until Woohyun’s fourth month of living with the Kim that Sunggyu finally able to talk to him properly. He took another month for a handshake and another two weeks to have their first hug. Whatever came after that was easier and they grew close in no time.

Woohyun became Sunggyu’s companion to visit his psychiatrist, which he refused to attend the previous appointments. The treatment went well and everybody could see how fast Sunggyu proceeded after that. He slowly healed and two years later, Sunggyu can stand on the stage without fainting anymore.

As the time passed, Woohyun grew attached to Sunggyu just like how the older was to him.

At first, Woohyun thought it was just another normal adoration of a little brother toward an older one, but when he finally entered high school and saw some girls trying to get closer to his hyung, he knew his feeling was not just as simple as that.

Woohyun did not notice he was staring and that he was watching Sunggyu all the time. Originally, he was looking after the older so that no one would bother him again and enforce the trauma back into him. Somehow, he got use of looking at Sunggyu and only Sunggyu. He can close his eyes and able to paint his face perfectly at the back of his mind. That was not healthy, especially when he reached the part where he kept seeing him even in his dreams.

Then his heart started to beat so loud whenever the older was around. It was so wrong but it felt just right. He wanted Sunggyu to himself and he realized that he had wanted it for so long already. He was just oblivious about what the feeling called and now that he knew it, it got harder to ignore.

 

#  -7-

It was three in the morning; if not any earlier than that, when there was a loud knock on his apartment door. At time like this, he thought moving out of the huge house and into this small apartment was not a good idea at all. With the small distance between the main door and his room, it was hard to ignore the endless knocking that it forced him to get out of bed to get whoever the crazy person was.

Woohyun thought he was the crazy one here when he saw Sunggyu behind the door. Was he still in dreamland and he was actually sleep walking? It was impossible for Sunggyu to be here. Tomorrow would be his wedding day.

“C-can I come in?”

Woohyun wanted to say no because letting him in was a bad idea but he saw how pink his nose was and he guessed this stupid hamster probably had been standing outside in the cold for so long before he finally decided to knock on his door. “Sure.” He made a space for him to pass and lead him to the living room. Woohyun disappeared for a while to get a blanket and make him a cup of hot chocolate. Only then, he settled beside him on the sofa. “So, mind telling me why are you here instead of sleeping at home?”

There came no answer in return. Sunggyu was barely moving beside him. He held onto the cup of hot chocolate, staring into the dark brown liquid, unmoving. That continued for the next few minutes and when Woohyun about to ask again, Sunggyu finally started to speak.

“Do you remember that you love strawberries? Do you remember you love red so much you would refuse other colours for your shoes? Do you remember you got obsessive with waffles and kept eating it for breakfast for the whole month?” Woohyun frowned. Was Sunggyu here to play the ‘do you remember’ game, on the night before his wedding? “Do you remember you love this one band so much you forced me to go to their concert with you? Do you remember you caught cold the night before Christmas and gave it to me the next day too because you did not want to leave my bed?”

Sunggyu kept on rambling some random questions about their past, making Woohyun even more confused. Of course, he remembered everything but he could not say so, since he was supposed to forget everything. When Sunggyu still going on with it, he got enough and brought his eyes up to look at Sunggyu’s, wanting to scold him shut but right then, he saw it.

There was this one question in his eyes that he did not say aloud; perhaps the one he intended to ask from the start.

‘ _Do you remember that you love me?_ ’

He averted his gaze right away and looked somewhere else that was not Sunggyu. No, they should not have this talk right now or his effort of moving out of the Kim’s house was futile. “It’s getting late. You should go to sleep. You need to wake up early tomorrow by the way.” With that, he hastily rushed to his room and locked the door from inside.

 

Woohyun had no idea whether Sunggyu slept at his place last night or the older left right away after he cowardly hid in his room because when he woke up earlier this morning, he was alone in the apartment. He also had no idea whether he was anticipating him to be there, decide to fuck off with the wedding and stay with him instead. Well, that was too good to be true.

The ceremony would not start until some time near twelve so Woohyun took it slow. He was not in rush so he took it slow, everything. Woohyun thought of ditching it even, like pretending to be sick or something. Seriously, who would be strong enough to attend the love of their life’s wedding? Woohyun was weak to start with, and a coward too at that.

Yet, there he was half an hour before eleven, standing in front of the church, immobile and staring silently at the old white building.

He recalled when he was seventeen and Sunggyu was eighteen, they talked about their dreamed weddings after attending one of their teacher’s. The older specifically said he would love to hold the ceremony here, because he grew up in the residence and he had been visiting the church every week after the doctor diagnosed him to be fully CBT-free. Besides, he loved the building design and the vintage feeling it gave.

Sunggyu’s dream came true, for what it seemed to be… and Woohyun’s did not.

He did not get to tell Sunggyu that day because it was getting late and Mrs Kim called to ask them home. His dream was one, and will always be one – to hold the ceremony with Sunggyu, to be the one to take his hand on the altar, to be the one to say I do to him.

“A dream is a dream, I guess.”

“What are you mumbling about, Woohyunnie?” Woohyun startled when a voice suddenly rang beside his ear, He turned and found Mrs Kim smiling fondly at him, also realized that he was still standing in the middle of the entrance. “I have something that I would like to talk about with you. Would you care, for a while?”

Woohyun frowned but nodded nevertheless. The older made him follow her into the building and straight to one of the backrooms, locked the door once they were both inside. They sat on the sofa next to each other and Mrs Kim remained silent for a few minutes before she started.

“How long do you intend to hide it from me?” She asked sharply, eyes staring right into Woohyun’s own. For the whole sixteen years of living with her, this was the first time she raised her voice at him and it also his first time seeing such expression in her eyes. He screwed up, yes; he lied, yes; but he had no other choice left.

“I am so sorry, Mom. I lied about my memory but that was…”

“This is not only about your memory, Nam Woohyun!” She shouted, though she struggled to control her voice so that it would not be too loud. When he brought his eyes to her again that he saw that her fiery eyes were now filled with tears, threatening to spill. “I did not give birth to you… but these hands brought you up, these eyes watched you as you turned from little boy to a handsome man. I don’t need you to spell it for me to understand that you are in love and you…” She paused, her voice cracking at the end and her tears finally rolled down her cheeks. “I know that you are in love with Sunggyu. How long are you planning to hide that from me, from Sunggyu, from everyone? Today is his wedding, Nam Woohyun. It is either now, or everything will be too late.”

Woohyun did not know he was crying too until he felt a wet trail across his right cheek. He gripped onto the elder’s hands, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I am, already too late. I lost two years. I feel like just yesterday for me but for Sunggyu, for you, for the others, there was a two years gap… and someone came somewhere between the gap. What right do I have to suddenly come back and pretend everything is normal again? Because it was not and there was nothing I could do to change the past or to fill my absence. You guys lived, I did not. Sunggyu found someone and I am happy for him. I don’t want him to feel sorry so I think it is better if I remember nothing. I will deal with myself later but for now, I just want to see him happy.”

He was sobbing loudly when he reached the last part, already unable to produce a proper word. Mrs Kim hit his shoulder, hissing at him and pulled him into a hug. Woohyun gave in and cried loudly because he had it pent up for so long.

“But you know it just as much as I do, that Sunggyu is not completely happy with this. You know what he wants, don’t you?” Woohyun closed his eyes tightly, clenched on her shirt as he clung more onto her and left her question hanging. He rather not answers it because yes, he knows.

 

Sunggyu put on the white tuxedo for the day, exactly the one that Woohyun said he was perfect in. He walked down the aisle gracefully, slowly as he stole every of the guests’ breath, one by one.

Doojon was at the end, waiting for Sunggyu to reach him with a huge smile, the one that Sunggyu lacked of. The older did not bother to graze even a tiny, weak one. His eyes glued on the floor and Woohyun could see how lifeless he was behaving when he took Doojon hand that was waiting for him.

The priest started by reciting his usual verse, explaining about this and that. Woohyun was playing with his finger and it was not until they reached the climax that he brought his head up, matching eyes with Mrs Kim who was sitting on the other end. She gave him a small, encouraging nod. True, it was now or never, now or he would be regretting it for the rest of his life.

“…speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Woohyun stood up; his eyes were now on Sunggyu’s, the pair that finally was shining again and a huge smile curled on his lips. He will deal with Doojon and the guests later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> so i went through some readings and found that in 21st century, no one actually go with the 'object' part in wedding anymore but i put it in anyway. because yeah it is cliche and what not.
> 
> i left it as open ending but you guys know what happens anyway lmao. hope you enjoyed it and sorry for the bad angst, also for the past two (bad) angst from me as well. 
> 
> this story marks the end of my Angsty November, and i will soon start with fluffy, family themed December collection. thank you for reading.


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